


literally just a collection of triggering stuff

by orphan_account



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: Blood and Gore, Heavy Angst, Other, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm, Sexual Assault, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Triggers, venting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 11:06:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13409946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: this is a collection of some REALLY TRIGGERING thoughts/actions that ive done/experienced/thought about. im gonna make it ~artsy~ and pretty though bc otherwise it'd look stupid,, bc id literally just be putting "i wanna die" on a single chapter lmao. im kinda doing this as a way to vent? bc idk. it helps i guess. anyways. dont read if you are triggered by any of the following things: self harm, suicide, sexual assault, alcohol use, cigarettes, blood, violence, and some other fucked up shit.





	1. dying.

just one more.  
just two more.  
just three more.  
just ten more cuts until i realize what i'm doing.  
i'm bleeding.  
the blood is dripping.  
i've made a mess.  
of myself.  
of my surroundings.  
of my life.  
my life is a mess.  
i'm a mess.  
my head is filled.  
with the worst possible thoughts.  
what if someone sees me like this?  
what if someone takes this away from me?  
what if someone tries to help me?  
but they'll only make it worse.  
add fuel to the fire inside of my mind.  
people like me can't be helped.  
people like me are prisoners.  
prisoners to the darkness surrounding us.  
the darkness no one else sees.  
people like me die.  
and we're okay with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi. so this is kinda just a test chapter to see how comfy i feel doing this. the next ones are probably gonna be a lot worse and a lot sadder and probably a lot longer. also idk if im gonna keep this format or not? it just looks nice and makes my ugly ass thoughts look pretty so lMAO


	2. a new blade.

i drag the blade across my skin.  
i can feel it split open.  
i wait for the blood to reach the surface.  
so i can watch it as it runs down my arm.  
relief is all i feel.  
why would someone shame me for this?  
i'm making myself better.  
curing myself from the thoughts.  
the feelings.  
i'm making it all go away.  
like my problems are flowing out with my blood.  
the pain is a better feeling than the feelings inside.  
the feelings i can only stop with the touch of a blade.  
the force of a punch.  
the flames of a match.  
please don't be mad.  
please don't be.  
please just understand.  
this is my relief.  
this is my escape.  
at least i'm not dead.  
yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um so?? i cant believe people actually read this??? even if its only 4 people still i thought no one would even click on this wtf,,,,, but uh anyways here's some more. i decided to do the format i did in the first chapter again bc i really like it?? it's so simple but pretty. also, i promise these arent ALL gonna be about self harm (a lot of them will but not all) so dont be disappointed lmao
> 
> i might do a couple more chapters later and make them about something different so it kinda balances everything out?? we'll see. just take this shit for now


	3. just a heads up

hi. so uh. im probably gonna end up deleting this chapter after a while but i just wanted to say that im gonna take a small break from working on this. i had a bad episode today and actually relapsed so :'''') just gonna try to not kill myself and get over this shit real quick,, then ill be back ig. ily and take care


End file.
